Oh My
by Randomonium
Summary: AU fic. Shikamaru, Temari, Kiba and Secchan OC take the incredibly crowded train to work. Interesting and amusing situations occur. No real plot, it's more like a interaction Rated M because I'm incredibly paranoid.shikaTema; KibaOC


"Oh lordie, it's so full," Secchan groaned, looking at the packed train which she now had to use

**AU fic, one OC**

**Oh My**

"Oh lordie, it's so full," Secchan groaned, looking at the packed train which she now had to use.

"That it is. God, what a drag,' Temari groaned. "Oh well, come on." She dragged Secchan to the nearest coach.

"Hey, hotstuff!" A raucous shout caught their attention.

Secchan and Temari tuned to see Kiba and Shikamaru walking towards them.

"You also catching the train today, gorgeous?" Kiba asked, winking at Secchan, his rough voice identifying himself as the hailer.

"That we are, sexbomb." Secchan grinned. This flirtation between them was normal. They slept together on a regular basis, therefore they decided that they could term each other boyfriend and girlfriend, although they were not officially exclusive. However, they didn't seem to like sleeping with other people, but no-one knew of this. Except Temari and Shikamaru. Secchan had told Temari and Kiba had told Shikamaru, and obviously Temari and Shikamaru had confided in each other, but they had decided not to tell them what they had discovered, and see how long it would take the two players to figure it out without outside interference.

"Hey there," Shikamaru greeted Temari quietly. She smiled at him in return.

The four boarded the crowded train. Shikamaru grabbed the last seat in the corner, and pulled Temari onto his lap. Kiba and Secchan were left to stand, and were soon squashed by a huge bunch of people. Kiba was squashed against the wall and Secchan was squashed up against him. They still had enough space to move-barely- but were pressed up against each other.

"You know, this could be interesting," Temari whispered to Shikamaru.

"How so?" asked Shikamaru.

"It's Secchan, and she's pressed up against Kiba. On a train," Temari pointed out.

Shikamaru smirked. "Oooh…now I see it…'

Secchan looked at Temari, who smirked at her. Temari waggled her eyebrows mischievously at her friend. Secchan glanced behind her at Kiba, who was looking out the window. She looked back at Temari and winked, matching her smirk.

Temari gave a little giggle. Shikamaru grinned.

"What was that naughty little giggle for?" he asked.

"'Naughty little giggle'?" asked Temari.

"Yeah. A very naughty little giggle. And it's accompanied by a naughty smirk," Shikamaru muttered, smirking.

"Oh yeah?" Temari looked ahead of her, smirking (obviously!).

"Oh yeah. The same naughty little dirty smirk you wear when you tie me up and whip me," he said in a low voice, nuzzling her neck.

The older woman next to them cleared her throat, attracting their attention, and they saw her glancing at them with wide eyes.

Temari giggled and Shikamaru gave a low chuckle.

"Old hag shouldn't be eavesdropping anyway,' Temari whispered to him.

"D'ya think we should really mess with her?" Shikamaru suggested, whispering in her ear, smirking.

Temari smirked. "Oh, baby, how about that threesome? Wasn't that just fabulous?" she said, loud enough for the woman to hear. Shikamaru stifled a chuckle.

Temari grinned and looked back at Secchan.

Secchan, looking as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, was slowly grinding Kiba into the wall. Kiba looked flustered, and in pleasure. As if to stop himself moaning or groaning he latched onto Secchan's neck with his mouth. His hands were fixed to her waist, holding her tightly against him.

"Oh. My. God," Temari gaped.

"What?" asked Shikamaru, not having looked in that direction.

"It's like dry sex! Okay, never mind, it _is _dry sex!" Temari exclaimed. The woman next to them was horrified, especially when she followed Temari's gaze.

"What?" Shikamaru asked again.

"Kiba and Secchan!" Temari said.

Shikamaru looked at them. "Good Lord, you're right!"

"You _know _them?" asked the woman, looking scandalized.

Temari glanced at Shikamaru, a smirk curling at her lips. "Oh, yes. We all have a lot of…._fun_ together, if you know what I mean." She accompanied this suggestive statement with a saucy wink, and felt Shikamaru convulse with laughter underneath her.

The woman's eyes grew as large as saucers and she hupped bubbles for a couple minutes. She looked completely shocked, which amused Temari greatly.

Suddenly, Kiba let off a great shout, causing many people to turn and look at him and Secchan, who was pursing her lips to keep from laughing.

"Uh…sorry, I…um…stubbed my toe," Kiba apologized, looking rather hot around the collar and red in the face. He gave a nervous cough as everyone on the train slowly went back to their own business, some giving Kiba curious glances. Secchan was desperately trying not to giggle, and failing. Temari and Shikamaru were also having a bit of a laugh at Kiba's expense.

"I told you this would be amusing," Temari giggled.

"No, you said it would be interesting," Shikamaru chuckled.

"Isn't it?" she asked coyly.

"Mmmyeah, I guess it _could_ be termed interesting," Shikamaru conceded.

Just then, the train screeched to a halt at their stop. The four piled out the train, leaving the scandalized woman behind. Shikamaru, Temari and Secchan were laughing, and Kiba was grinning reluctantly, still a little red.

"I cannot _believe _you two! Honestly, on a crowded train? The woman next us was absolutely horrified!" Temari exclaimed, laughing.

"Uh, Temari, I think we had a hand in horrifying the old hag," Shikamaru pointed out, grinning.

"Old hag?" Secchan laughed.

"Her terminology," Shikamaru replied, jerking his head to indicate Temari, who laughed.

"I guess we did have a hand in it. Actually, I don't think she would have even noticed you guys if I hadn't pointed you out," Temari giggled.

"We wound her up beforehand," Shikamaru told them, "Okay, Temari wound her up. I only started her off with a rather…ehm…_racy_ comment that she happened to overhear. Oh, and I kinda suggested winding her up."

"Oooh, racy comment?" Secchan asked, latching onto this.

"What was that racy comment the quiet lazy Shikamaru…uh…commented?" Kiba trailed off.

"You know, that actually started out sounding educated, and then your true self came through. Shame, and just when you were doing such a good job in hiding it,' Temari teased Kiba.

"Oh, fuck off," Kiba laughed, taking the teasing good-naturedly. "Anyway, Shikamaru, don't think you're gonna get out of telling us what that racy comment was. Spill," Kiba ordered.

Shikamaru froze. "Uh…well now, I don't know if I really want to _share_ that with you. It's rather…private," he stuttered.

"Let's just say it dealt with whips and ropes," Temari divulged, throwing a saucy little wink over her shoulder as she linked her arms with Shikamaru's and dragged him a little further ahead of Kiba and Secchan.

"Oh, baby!" yelped Secchan, throwing her head with a grin, accompanied by Kiba's piercing whistle and raucous laughter.

"Kinky!" he called, also grinning.

Temari turned to face her two friends with a smirk on her face. "Says the guy who got off by his girlfriend grinding against him on a crowded train!" she reiterated.

Kiba ducked his head in acknowledgement of his friends' laughter.

"Hey, at least I'm not afraid to admit it," he declared.

"Oh yeah? 'Oh, sorry, I, um, stubbed my toe'," Temari mimicked.

"I just didn't…want to…make a…scene…" Kiba tried to defend himself, and found himself wanting.

"Oh, but you're not afraid to admit it." Temari grinned at him.

"Babe- she's got you beat," Secchan told him.

"Yeah, I realized," he said, nodding.

"Besides, who says I'm afraid to admit it? Who was it that told you again?" Temari demanded.

"Okay, okay, point taken! I don't think before I speak, I got it," Kiba admitted, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Damn right you don't," Secchan agreed with him.

"Hey, sexy, don't put me down like that, it's not good for my ego," Kiba told her.

"And what does this do for your ego?" Secchan asked, pulling him around to face her and leaning up to kiss him.

"Wonders," he replied, and pulled her closer for a deeper kiss.

"Hey, lovebirds, stop making an exhibition of yourselves and hurry up, or we'll be late for work," Temari yelled.

The two separated, grinning and walked to catch up with Shikamaru and Temari.

The four continued walking along the road.

"So, you guys are into whips and chains, huh?" Kiba asked.

Shikamaru groaned. "Why did you tell him?" he demanded of Temari.

"Why not? Besides, Kiba, I said ropes, not chains," Temari told Kiba. He shrugged.

"Big difference."

"Chains are sexier, anyway," Secchan provided.

"Oh, you would know," Temari laughed.

Secchan winked. "Of course. But chains are easier to get out of. Personally though, I like the cold of the metal on my skin," she said.

Shikamaru was now used to Secchan's very sexual statements, although it had taken a while. However, he did feel that this was sharing a bit too much.

Temari laughed. "Very open, aren't we, Secchan. what's next, your favourite position?"

Secchan grinned. "Actually my favourite position is-"

"I was joking, Secchan," Temari interrupted.

"I knew that," Secchan told her.

Temari eyed her out of the corner of her eye. "Are you sure about that?"

"Whaddaya think I am, stupid?" Secchan demanded.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Temari replied.

"Oh, fuck off," Secchan told her. Temari laughed.

"Bitch," Secchan accused.

"Whore," Temari returned.

Shikamaru and Kiba glanced at each other.

"And they're best friends," Shikamaru said.

"I don't get woman,' Kiba decided, shaking his head.

Shikamaru sighed. "I don't even try."

-END-

**A/N: There really was no point to this story. I came up with it when I was bored. I literally just started typing cos I had nothing else to do. I found it fairly amusing. It's not my best work, far from it. I don't even think it's all that good. But hey, what the hell. What did you think? I know, why don't you tell me in a review!! D Isn't that a novel idea? (Those were my not-so-subtle**** hints for you to review P) Oh yeah, Secchan is my favourite OC that I've come up with. She features in another one of my stories, which isn't on here cos I kinda lost the manuscript. I really wanna find it. You know what? I'll shut up now.**


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